I was able to actually go to the Fringe this year (An Adelaide and drug based festival of arts and comedy)
I’ve never been, but I’d always wanted to go see The Red Bastard, and Ronnie Johns “Chopper”, but had always put it off.
Yesterday, I grew a pair and went, holy shit, I’ve never seen anything as drugged as that, and I’m a fan of Pete Doherty. I saw tophats, pink shirts, gypsy’s and dwarves and, that was just the paying audience. I’m not kidding. There was a Gypsy tent. There was a tent for Dwarves, and there was even a weed head tent. The smell of weed was a tad overpowering, but you get used to it, along with the talking dogs and new colours.
I only had my Eftpos card, so I mainly stinged off of the “buskers” zone. Magic tricks, Americans balancing on chairs, a man with a three kilo battle axe ”Direct from Scotland”, and what I must say was the biggest letdown of the night, a woman named “California” who had named her breasts “Bondi” and “Malibu”, Holy shit, she was NOT FUNNY in the slightest. I got up and walked off when she said that her handbag was next to her, (It was a bag full of adult hula-hoops), She was forever trying to quote French words, in incorrect places, and I was most bemused by her referring to her tits as beaches.
Aside from that, I’ll probably return to the Fringe. But if I read the word “California” again, I will have to use that man’s battleaxe on Malibu and Bondi. Lady Ga-Ga Wannabe’s (And Lady Ga-Ga herself); Not cool.
Oh, and a drunken performer stumbled down a hill, lost his shit on the way, rolled down the remainder of the hill and knocked a small child over, the kid was not impressed. I was, because he lost his ice cream and donuts. That’ll teach you for being morbidly obese, bastard.
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